Monday Mania: Hi I’m a Mac and I’m Elite.

  

 

 

Chilly.

Well, it’s another one of those days. Yes – those days that you wish the alarm clock would just stop “churping” and you could just go back to school. I’m sorry I sound like an ESPN Monday Night Football commerical, but hey – it’s actually true. This morning, I went out to my car to drive to work – and I saw something that I had not seen in a long time. No it wasn’t a Britney Spears Ad in my window – it was frost. Yes, frost. I had to scrap off the frost off my window for the first time all year. I really despite doing that. I have to get up extra early just to get that done. Then, I got in the car, and saw the symbol that I despite the most on my dashboard – the snowflake. Now the Snowflake is supposed to bring joy and happyness to all the little boys and girls and all that bullshit – but it brings me despair, horror, and jock. After a great summer of good weather, hot girls, now the skirts will go away, and then layers of clothing will pilling on. It’s a mystery for people like me in Winter Climates – you never know how cold is it going to be until you step outside. Sure – you can see the temperature of 10 degree – but don’t really relate to that unless you step outside and begin to refreeze your balls off. My cousin lived near me this past winter, and was mindblown ever time – he got in my car and saw the snowflake. For someone who lived in a warm weather climate – the snowflake brought him happiness. I just looked at him – and frowned. The snowflake to me – means that I have to deal with horrible driving conditions, mounds of snow, and sand and gravel eating up my car like it’s a buffet. Anyways – just a side note, anyone ever drive down the street and see a huge construction car with the sign on the back “Construction Vehicle. Do not follow”? Now who in there right mind would want to follow it? I mean seriously – are you that bored because the Red Sox lost – that you want to waste you money to follow this gigantic truck? What are you hoping to find – a pot of gold? More like a pot of shit. I can’t imagine why they would put that on the truck – I’d love to meet someone who actually has follow one of them. I mean seriously, everyone hates them. The thing is that always they always drive in the slow lane, and more importantly, they tend to drive 20 miles per hour in the left lane on the Highway. That just sucks more than a MacBook with Windows XP on it. 

Yes. I want to watch.

Well today – I checked into my hotel, and the desk attendant spotted me and said “Hello Mr. Avola”, are you ready to check in? Immediately, I was shocked, and looked like a deer in headlights. As I checked in – she gave me an “Elite Member” room card. It was pretty amazing, but I thought nothing of it. Then I went up the 12th floor (first time in 4 weeks that that has happened), put the key in my door, and opened it. I had a huge HDTV onto of where the old CRT 10 inch TV used to be. I thought “Wow, pretty nice”. After I put my luggage down I went down to the lobby to pick up my food at Champion’s Bar and Grill. The guy’s name down there is Greg – and immediately recognized me and gets my food and settles the bill. Then I realize that I’m a Hotel Celebrity. A friend of mine told me that once stayed in a hotel for a month while his house was getting fixed up, and literally he began best friend with all the employees. That’s pretty fly – I wonder what kinda of room I will get next week. 

After getting my room key, I looked at the bottom of my paper “key holder” and I noticed something that was old. It was listing the hours of operation for the Champions’ Bar and Grill. It said:

Champions Bar and Grill   Mon – Thurs – 4:30pm – 12:30am & Fri-Sat – 4:30pm – 12:30am.

Now – seriously, there is a method to this madness. Working at Whole Foods, people always used to ask me “What are your hours?” – and we always had the same hours “8am – 10pm, everyday”, which always led to next question “What about Sunday?”. Everytime someone asked me this question I just wanted to shoot myself. Last time I checked – everyday was every fucking day. But I do – understand why they did this. If a store puts the whole time-sheet of their hours with the same hours listed for everyday, no one ever questions it. But when you decide to put a sign, like Whole Foods, out in the front saying “Open 8am to 10pm everyday” the stupid just comes right out people. People just don’t get it. If I had a nickel everytime someone asked me how late were open on a Sunday – i would be richer than Bill Gates, and more popular than Steve Jobs. I swear if people would read more than 50% of the time – there would less Customer Service Representatives in every line of business. Trust me.

Just a quick MacBook update – literally, this thing is like a diamond. And with that I mean good and bad. It’s so precious that you don’t want to touch it and get it dirty, but its like a huge rock on your wife’s finger and your proud as fuck. I ate popcorn and then 5 hours later used my MacBook, and even though I washed my hand, the oil gets over the keys. You can even see if you move it into the light. I have not figured out how to use this thing without being afraid to get it dirty. I hope people will enlighten me in the comments on best practices.

God I hate these.

In closing – what you do you think about following a construction vechile for the hell of it? Would you ever waste your time and gas to follow to see where it is going? Would you do if you were stoned?* Sound off in the poll below?

[polldaddy poll=1024225]

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* iGreggor does not support the use of Weed…while driving.